I am proud to say that I've been gluten-free for a little over month! As anyone who has tried to go gluten-free or make any kind of lifestyle change knows - it's tough! Every day it gets a little easier and every little change is cause for a celebration.
During that time I've confronted several challenging situations. Dinner at Red Lobster where I didn't eat the cheddar biscuits, a work training where I sat in front of a table full of pastries, a potluck with cookies, cakes, and pies, plus tons of other small encounters where I had a choice between staying gluten-free or eating gluten.
I thought I would write a blog sharing the coping skills I've used for myself to reach this accomplishment. No skill works every time, in every setting, or for every person. That's why having a series of skills to chose from helps lead to success.
Most of my coping skills are skills I've gathered from my work as a therapist. I recommend my client's to use these every day in their lives - it only made sense to use them on myself!
1 - Focus on CAN rather than CAN'T - This was a major hurdle for me and the shift that really got my momentum going. When I first began thinking about going gluten-free I felt like I was swimming in a sea of "can't". Can't eat this, can't eat that, this has gluten, that has gluten, etc. etc. etc. I started to feel like I was just going to starve. When I focused on all the things I couldn't have I got pretty depressed and obsessed. That led to many 'screw it' moments - which is when I just couldn't deal any more, said 'screw it' and ate some gluten.
By turning my mind (a DBT skill for my counseling coworkers!) I instead tried to focus on all of the foods I COULD eat. I found gluten-free foods that I was excited about. It was a completely different feeling. Rather than disappointment and frustration. I instead felt excited and proud. I was in control. There are plenty of naturally gluten-free foods and more and more gluten-free products on the shelves. I got excited about Crunchmaster 7 grain sea salt crackers, Trader Joe's Gluten-free Snickerdoodles, and many other products. Now I look forward to the hunt - hunting for new and delicious gluten-free foods. I'm excited and a little proud about my meals.
2 - Out of sight out of mind - This seems simple - but it is so true. If I don't see something I forget about it eventually. Our trip to Red Lobster was probably the hardest. I love cheddar biscuits - I think I could just eat those for dinner and be happy. The minute the waitress brought that little basket to our table we moved it off to the side behind my husband's drink. It wasn't taunting me or tempting me into eating it.
3 - Change in Scenery - In my town, Springfield, MO there are a lot of great sushi places - at least 4 or 5. I can't explain why - but we do. One of my favorites is Haruno's and my 2 favorite rolls are the Miami and Sex and the City The Miami is a battered and deep fried roll, and the Sex and the City roll has tempura shavings on it. Obviously - neither one of these rolls is going to be gluten free. I used to eat here at least weekly with a good friend - I'm pretty emotionally attached to both the restaurant and these rolls. About a week a ago I had a craving for some sushi. I knew if we went to Haruno's I would either order something gluten-free and be disappointed because it wasn't my Miami or Sex and the City Roll. Or I'd just say "screw it" and eat them anyway. I did not want either of these outcomes. So, rather than torturing myself I decided to go to a new sushi place I'd been wanting to try. I wasn't attached to anything on this menu - it was all new! I was able to feel excited about the new foods I could try that were gluten-free. Does this mean I'll never eat at Haruno's again? No - of course not. I'll go again when I am more secure in my gluten-freeness.
4 - Share - This is probably the second biggest help in my success. I'm not ashamed or afraid to tell people about my desire to be gluten-free. I try to be open and honest. Do I think people should bend over backwards to accommodate me? Absolutely not! But, keeping it hidden makes me feel like an outcast. Only it's me casting myself out. Last week we had a little Valentine's Day party at a work meeting. My staff was telling me all about the Valentine's themed snacks they were going to get for everyone - yummy cookies, cakes, cupcakes, etc. I very politely asked if maybe she could pick up a little thing of chocolates as well. It both fit the theme and would be OK for me to eat. Just like would be done for a diabetic, vegetarian, etc. Nothing fancy or complicated.
5 - Support - This fits in with sharing. Any kind of lifestyle change is hard to do alone. Having people around to support (and sometimes positively peer pressure you) you makes all of the difference. There have been moments when I wanted to just 'screw it' and I was held in check by my sister - Courtney. She helped remind me why I'm making this choice. Or my loving husband, Matthew. I was able to not eat those delicious pastries at my work training because several coworkers sitting next to me were trying to eat healthy. The group of us together supported each other into not giving in - despite sitting through the whole training smelling cinnamon rolls.
These skills aren't magic. I have my moments when I'm struggling - as everyone does. Maintaining a positive outlook, not tempting myself, sharing my success and struggles, and finding support has helped me reach and maintain my goal of being gluten-free.
